Dangan Rinpa: Swimmer Happy Havoc
by TheLunarSquad
Summary: Rin doesn't understand love, but he is fascinated by the mysterious Nanase, who sits next to him in the back left corner of the room by the windows. Rin's first love at his brand-new Gakuen starts today!
1. Iwatamote!

Chapter 1- It's Your Fault I'm a Shoujo Romance Protagonist!

( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ

Cherry blossom petals littered the blue spring pathway. My hair rippled as a light gust lifted off, announcing the new day. My cyber red optics were blinded by the dazzling light.

I didn't know why my Okaa-san needed to transfer in her job, but as a loyal son I had followed her. Losing my friends was the hardest thing though. Losing my closest friend Sakura-chan had been devastating, we had promised to stay in touch. I wondered apprehensively if I would be able to make new nakama. With a mind set on 'I'll do my best', I strode along the narrow route towards a new school and my new life.

'I'm late! I'm late!' I was internally yelling, toast flying out of my mouth. As I was rushing through the empty hallways I turned the corner when BAM! I had run directly into another body. I started to fall backwards but a firm strong hand grabbed my arm and pulled me towards a warm chest.

I felt an overwhelming blush cross my face when I saw the debonair face that had rescued me. That face gazed impassively at mine, his dark hair framed a gorgeous face. The muscular arm let me go and I took a step back.

"Eto... Thank you for helping me...my name is Matsuo—" I said with a hand near my face. My shyness made me fidgety, but I was cut off by my savior.

The voice that responded was deep and masculine, "You shouldn't be running in the hallways." The impassive youth strode away without looking back.

Ehhhh? How could he be so rude, I thought. I definitely hated him, that jerk. But if I truly hated him, why wouldn't this blush leave my face...

( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ

I was waiting outside the classroom for Sensei to call me in. I couldn't wait to introduce myself. What would my classmates think? Would they welcome me? With uncertain thoughts I walked in.

"Hello, my name is Matsuoka Rin. I moved here for my Okaa-san's work. Please take care of me!" I bowed low, bag in hand, and cautiously looked up. My classmates were smiling at me. Sensei raised his finger and pointed to the back of the classroom.

"Matsuoka, you can sit next to Nanase." His bony finger pointed at a desk in the back, just one seat away from the window.

I made my way back and sat down. The desk next to me, closest to the window, was home to a sleeping figure. Of course, I thought, I could make a friend!

I raised my hand in greeting, "Hi my name is Matsuoka Rin. What's yours?"

The figure stirred and raised their head, it was the boy from earlier! His intense orbs narrowed at the sight of me. His eyelashes were extremely feminine and only added to the intense shimmer of his eyes.

"I know who you are. You just introduced yourself." With that he put his head back down and seemed to have gone back to sleep.

I can't stand this man!

( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ

Class finished and a group of students crowded around my desk.

"So where is that dialect from?"

"What's your favorite food?"

"Why are your teeth so pointy?"

"Why do you have a girly name?"

"Why is your chin so pointy?"

They bombarded me with questions, I felt so overwhelmed. I watched curiously as Nanase-kun got up silently and stalked out of the room. He seemed annoyed.

One girl in my class was especially hounding me. "Can I call you Matsu-chan?"

"Matsuoka Rin is my full name. I don't like nicknames...gomen."

I didn't understand why, but being around Nanase-kun made me nervous. My usual outgoing self became shy and reclusive. I excused myself from those questioning eyes under the pretense of going to the bathroom. "Ehh, gomenasai. I need to freshen up. Sumimasen." With hurried steps, I followed Nanase-kun up the stairs, but I lost him in the sea of people.

A tall boy with green eyes had his gaze fixated on me. I felt a bit unsettled by that gaze, and the boy made his way over to me. I fidgeted shyly and met his stare. "E-eto...my name is Matsuoka Rin. Did you need anything?" The boy just looked at me some more, his gaze ceding into a brief glare before he turned and walked away. I shuddered a vague sense of foreboding rippling through my body as I entered the bathroom door. It was a nice bathroom that smelled of lavender.

I sat on the toilet seat and started taking a crap. I heard a flushing noise from the stall next to me and quickly cleaned up—I wiped the leftover shit from my ass—, wanting to glean every opportunity to introduce myself to random strangers as I could.

I smiled friendlyly, baring my alluringly honed shark teeth as I washed my hands of excess grime. "Hi, my name is Matsuoka Rin!" The small blonde boy washing his hands next to me looked up. I saw that his eyes were pink, like mine, albeit a few shades lighter. "Your eyes are pink, like mine, albeit a few shades lighter" I ejaculated loudly. The boy laughed and introduced himself "Hi! My name is Nagisa Hazuki! Yoroshiku onegaishimasu!" Sparkly bubbles formed around us.

I smiled. Finally someone who seemed to like me! We walked back to class together, Nagisa babbling all the while. He turned out to be outgoing and very enthusiastic about his swimming club, he was ecstatic when I informed him that I also swimmed, inviting me to _join them, to be CONSUMED AND ASSIMILATED. _

I was so happy, I was going to make friends!

* * *

**I hope you loved this SUGOI story. I had a ton of help from my nakama in order to give a real shoujo experience when reading this. Also, I drew the kawaii desu cover art myself! Please review! XD**


	2. My Little Brother Can't Be This Sexy!

Chapter 2- My Little Brother Can't Be This Sexy!

( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ

I sat down in my seat next to Nanase-kun. My butt was a little bit sore from taking a shit.

I took a sneaky glance at Nanase-kun as he slumbered on. He was so kawaii! Wait did I actually think that...? That's so embarrassing. I was blushing so much, everyone in class noticed.

Finally school ended and I headed home with my new nakama. The nicest one by far had the same name as my best friend from my old school, Sakura-chan. Actually they both looked exactly the same also. They both had rainbow hair which spewed sparkles like a septic tank!

Today I was heading home to meet my Okaa-san's fiancée and his son. I couldn't wait to meet them. I hoped we could be awesome friends!

As I made my way home I said goodbye to Sakura-chan and skipped the rest of the way. I was so excited! I opened the door and walked inside.

"Tadaima!" I yelled, as I put my shoes by the door. I heard a voice respond from the kitchen.

"Okairin, Rin. Come inside and meet your new family!"

I strode inside and my okaa-san was smiling at me. Next to her was a white middle-aged man with a generic face and a little bit of stubble, like all those American game protagonists. He was the president of the local helicopter my eyes locked with his son. An extreme close-up of my face followed. The panels spanned and zoomed into his face, as hot and mysterious as always.

It was Nanase-kun! I was going to be Nanase-kun's older brother!

( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ

I was super nervous, and fidgeting more than usual. A few days had passed in awkwardness. Nanase-kun seemed content ignoring me, but I wanted to be closer to him!

We had flew on our helicopter to school and landed on the roof. Our school actually didn't allow access to the roof, but no one seemed to notice our sleek Sikorsky CH-54 Tarhe helicopter as it descended gracely from the sky. Its twin-engine motors purred as it came to a halt, and its perfectly molded chassis could hold as many nuclear bombs as necessary, just in case.

I didn't know what to do so I confided in my best-friend, Sakura-chan. She looked at me when I told her my confuzzled feelings.

"Well obviously you're in love!" She proclaimed loudly. Unbeknowest to her, Sousuke, a friend from my old school was behind her.

I blushed, wondering why Sousuke was her. "Sousuke, why are you here?"

Sousuke looked at me, he replyed in a deep macho voice "I transferred here for you, Rin-chan"

My face got really red when he said my name. He used my first name! Sakura-chan was leaning on my desk and looked skeptically at Sousuke.

"Nice to meet you Sasuke-kun." But her face looked like she was anything but pleased.

Sousuke looked uncomfortable, "My name is Sousuke..."

"Sasaki-kun"

"Sousuke"

"Satsuki-kun"

"...Sousuke?"

"Ahh sorry Sadako-kun"

"You know what, never mind." Sousuke had already given up.

Sakura-chan smiled, her fangs showing, "Okay Sachiko-kun!"

I thought Sousuke looked slightly awkward, so I asked him why don't we leave, "Why don't we leave Sousuke-kun"

Sousuke sweat-dropped and replied, "Yes let's go. By the way I'm in your class, Rin-chan." He smiled with masculine bravado.

I grinned back, with my signature shark teeth. It was so nice to have another friend with me!

"Hey Rin-chan, can I come over to your house...?" Sousuke said, his eyes glinted.

I, as ignorant and sweet as ever, didn't notice and smiled in reply. "Of course Sousuke-kun. You're my friend!" My head tilted slightly to the side, and a soft giggle left my lips.

Sousuke's face flushed a bright vermillion shade, and he moved his hand to cover it up. I happily skipped alongside him as we made our way to my house.

( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ

Sousuke and I had arrived home and eaten a snack together. We ate the leftover chicken strips from the night before. For some reason our freezer always had a large supply of tasty breaded-chicken deliciousness.

After our light snack we went upstairs to my room. My bed had a large purple fluffy comforter and I curled up in it. Sousuke sat down next to my bed. I twisted around to face him.

"So what do you wanna do?" I asked, still cacooned in the squishy comforter like a Swadloon.

Sousuke desu blushed and averted his eyes away. "I just wanted to spend time with you Rin-chan..." He glanced back at me.

"Sure! Let's play a game!" I took out Monopoly and set it up. We played Monopoly until literally forever, when Sousuke said he had to go.

( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ

After dinner, I had gone upstairs, showered, and went to bed. Little did I know I was in for a big surprise that night.

Around 3 A.M. I had awoken with the incessant urge to go to the bathroom. Fueled by an overpowering need to release my bladder, I had hastened to the bathroom only to find it occupied.

Typically, I would have gone to the downstairs bathroom, seeing as the upstairs one was occupied. However, my indomitable renal system forced my hand. I ripped open the door and leapt in but was stunned by the sight I saw.

There, in what appeared to be a transient span of time, was Nanase-kun. He stood, stark naked under the showerhead. Water poured over his rippling pelvis, but that is not what had caught my attention. What I saw was forever etched into my mind...

I ran out. Somehow, such a shock had eased my bladder and I found the strength to go to the bathroom downstairs. I breathed a sigh of relief, I don't think Nanase-kun had seen me...

( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ

That night I lay in bed, my mind racing with turmulous images.

Why couldn't I get rid of these troublesome thoughts! Why does the memory of Nanase-kun, his masculine angles accentuated perfectly in all the right places as he basks in the glow of chicken strips in the bath, plague me so?

The sight I had seen, that had so dramatically changed me... Seeing those chicken strips... Seeing their breaded crust covering his body.

I had found out my little brother's secret. Nanase-kun had a chicken strip fetish!

* * *

**OMG I worked super de duper hard on this. If you haven't noticed yet (lol) I am basing this a bit off of the somewhat ok show OreImo. I wanted Kuroneko x Kirino! The brother was wayyyy too annoying. Anyways, I hope you like the story desu XD.**

** Seiko-chan- ****! OMG! Arigato gosaimashita, hontou ureshii!**** But, the taking a crap part was COMPLETELY necessary, in fact I think it was the highlight of that sugoi chapter. Asswiping has a certain appeal to it, ne?**


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